Parents: Here's how to stop the worst of social media 2

What can a parent do?

So what is a parent to do besides screaming and longing for the days when "tag" was just a game on the playground?

There are actually some steps parents can take, the experts say, such as signing up for the social networks your teens are on and following them. Talking to your kids about social media is effective, too. If your teen gets off the phone and seems sad or upset, ask them about it. An encouraging finding from the CNN study showed that kids whose parents were more involved in their social media lives were less likely to remain upset about something that happened online.

"Kids who were experiencing some conflict on social media, be it with a friend or schoolmate, had very elevated levels of distress but that experience was mitigated if their parents were highly involved with monitoring their accounts," said Robert Faris, a sociologist with the University of California, Davis and another child development expert who collaborated with CNN on the study. "So parent monitoring effectively erased the negative effects of online conflicts."

Parents would also be well served by spending some time on the same social networks their teens are using just to get a sense of how they work and what impact they might be having on their children, said Underwood. She can relate; after she received a grant to study Facebook and began to post more often, she realized how excited she was when people "liked" what she said.

"It is really reinforcing to a middle-aged mother, so think how it feels to a young person," she said. "So parents need to get on these platforms."

Teens have always been concerned about popularity, but it takes on a whole new dimension when they can measure their status in likes, shares and comments. Parents can help their kids keep it all in perspective, said Faris, who is an associate professor of sociology.

"Encourage them to try not to keep score," he said. "Don't sweat the small stuff. Don't worry if you're not tagged. Don't count likes. Don't exclude other people. There are a lot of things that could make social media a little healthier for kids."

And there's another thing parents can do -- encourage our teens to put their phones down from time to time and do something else, go shopping, head outside, have fun in other ways.

"Help them steer away from it because it's really hard for them to do it on their own," said Underwood.

Jay, a 13-year-old who participated in the study, said social media is addicting -- but her grades went up once she put her phone down more often: "A lot of kids are going to be like, 'She's talking gibberish. I can totally multitask,' and that's what I thought until I put my phone away and I'm the happiest person I could be right now."

What do you think is the best way for parents to monitor teens' social media use? Share your thoughts with Kelly Wallace on Twitter @kellywallacetv or CNN Parents on Facebook.